


...While You're Alive

by rosecliff



Series: Parallax [2]
Category: Final Space (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, I'm not spoiling it but keep in mind death is a big theme, M/M, Possible Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 11:49:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14424801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosecliff/pseuds/rosecliff
Summary: The problem with time is that there's never enough between what you want and what's needed.(Sequel toFine, Great, but can stand on it's own for the most part, too.)





	...While You're Alive

**Author's Note:**

> I gotta let you know while you're alive,  
> 'cause I'll be a disaster when you die.

A tell-tale beeping sounded through the air as soon as the hatch closed. Gary whipped around to the two Cato’s just in time to see Avocato holding an activated mine in his hands. 

“No...” Avocato began shakily, looking up from the mine to Gary. 

“No…” Gary echoed desperately, blanching at Avocato’s following words.

“Take care of my boy.”

All he could bring himself to do was stare as Avocato ran from all of them, away from the hatch, feeling disgustingly numb and terrified, and--

“No-D-Dad!” 

Little Cato tried running after his father. Gary wanted to, too--more than anything. Little Cato was stopped, suddenly, and Gary realized that he holding him back, just as much as he wanted to do the same thing.

This wasn’t happening. It couldn’t be.

The mine deployed and Gary finally had to look away, pulling Little Cato back as the light and heat blinded them. The shift in gravity immediately made itself known, trying to pull everything into the ebb and flow of space. Gary grappled himself with one arm to a metal beam while his free arm held Little Cato.

It was brutal. If Gary wasn’t so in shock, he might have been impressed with his own strength.

It didn't take long before the ships grid shield activated, halting all absorption, everything falling in its wake. As he collapsed back onto the ground, Gary released Little Cato and opened his eyes.

His heart and mind went numb at the sight of Avocato’s obliterated chest, falling further and further away from them in the abyss of space. 

Even if Avocato could survive the blow, he would probably suffocate before they could get to him. There was no way he could focus on breathing with his chest blown out like that. Whether or not his vital organs were even in tact or not was another thing entirely. 

Avocato was getting too far away, and Gary looked around desperately. The tether. He couldn’t hesitate any longer if he wanted to at least try and save him, but as much as he wanted to, Gary knew that there was little chance Avocato would stay alive. The Galaxy One wasn’t in the best condition, and all of them were exhausted and tired and Gary could barely stand.

Going after Avocato would be a suicide mission. 

...It was Gary’s responsibility to look after Little Cato now. He couldn’t take the risk--if he himself died, too, then Little Cato would be all alone. Avocato left his trust with Gary, and he wasn’t going to break it first thing--

Little Cato screamed after his father, sobbing and sobbing, and in that moment, Gary realized something.

He didn’t care. 

“Mooncake,” He spoke firmly. “Get my helmet.”

Little Cato, wide-eyed, whipped his head to look at Gary as he tethered himself to the ship.

“Gary, what are you doing--” Quinn began incredulously, coming down the stairs quickly. “If you go after him, you’ll die too!” 

“We don’t know that!” He replied hasily. “I can’t just--we’ll never know if we don’t try.”

Mooncake fluttered quickly by him, handing Gary his helmet. Gary wasted no time in putting the helmet on, running to the opening. For a split second, he stopped by Little Cato.

“I promise I’ll get him back.” 

He jumped and Mooncake followed. 

Whether or not they would get Avocato back _alive_ was another story. Gary didn't care think further on it.

“GARY,” HUE’s voice came. “THE CHANCES OF YOU SUCCEEDING ARE LESS THAN TEN PERCENT.”

“I’ll take those odds,” Gary spoke through gritted teeth, Avocato’s silhouette in sight among rubble. “What...are Avocato’s chances of surviving.”

HUE didn’t reply. Gary wasn’t even sure if he wanted him to, or if he was even asking a question to begin with. 

It was hard to look at Avocato’s body--body, not corpse, Gary said to himself--as it drifted, blood coagulating through gravity.

Gary had to get to him quickly before the Galaxy One moved too far away for the tether to reach. He kicked his legs as if it would do something epic, which unfortunately it didn't, reaching desperately for Avocato. 

He was too far. 

“Mooncake!” Gary panicked. “Grab him!” 

No more needed to be said before Mooncake zoomed under Avocato, lifting him up towards the Galaxy One. He brought Avocato to Gary, who took him gingerly into his arms. Mooncake shoved Gary from behind, trying to quicken their ascent back to the ship. 

“Pull me in!” Gary yelled.

When they entered back through the blown out wall, Little Cato ran over instantly. He sobbed and hiccuped, trying to get his father’s attention and snap him back into conscious, but it never happened. Gary laid Avocato on the floor, wasting no time as he tossed off his helmet. 

He felt for Avocato’s pulse with bated breath, letting out a sigh of relief upon feeling something.

“We have to get him breathing.”

Little Cato looked up at Gary helplessly and desperately. 

“Don’t look at me like that, don’t worry, I've got this,” He assured shakily. Gary hadn’t used the skills he’d learned in that one EMT training course he’d taken ever, but there was always a first for something. In that moment, he was unendingly grateful to his past self. It had to count for something.

“How?”

“Just--trust me.”

Quinn was at their side quickly, assessing the damage as Gary tilted Avocato’s head back.

“The S.A.M.E.S. are getting medical equipment,” She stated calmly. “Are you sure you know how to do this, Gary?” 

Giving a quick nod in response, Gary looked to Avocato’s chest briefly. In Avocato’s current state, he could only perform half of CPR--he hoped that was enough. He didn’t take time to think about the organ damage--but Avocato was still alive; he just prayed he would stay alive. 

Gary gave it his all and did the best he could, growing shakier with each attempt. Avocato wasn’t responding. Quinn kneeled down as Same’s brought over towels and medical equipment and got started on stopping the bleeding. She applied the same green goo device that Avocato’s used on him when his arm was bleeding; Gary wondered if it would be enough to stop the bleeding, or if Avocato had already lost too much blood.

“Please, dad,” Little Cato cried weakly. “Please.”

Gary felt the pinprick of tears at the edges of his eyes, but he couldn’t stop. He had to keep trying, he had to--

“Gary, it’s not working,” Quinn stated quietly. “He’s not…”

Gary bit back a sob, continuing to try despite imminent failure. He had to keep trying, he had to keep going, he couldn’t stop, not until he knew he’d done everything he could. 

With mild hesitation and anxiety, Gary checked if Avocato still had a pulse. So long as Avocato’s heart kept pumping, they had hope. He chanced a glance at Avocato’s chest, relieved to see all openings had been dressed and sealed--they stopped the bleeding, that was good. Gary still wasn’t sure if he should try pumping Avocato’s chest, despite the wounds. He was running out of options.

He would try one more time. Shakily, he brought his lips to Avocato’s, breathing air into him before accidentally maybe turning it into a gentle kiss that maybe went on for just a _little_ too long. Whether or not people picked up on it, Gary didn't particularly care. The energy was high-strung for everybody, he was sure. Gary paused when he felt the soft dusting of air against his face. Relief washed over he let out a strangled sob, hiding his face against Avocato. 

“He’s breathing, it’s okay, he’s breathing,” Gary repeated the words to himself like a sacred mantra before slowly sitting up. Little Cato smiled at him, terrified and watery, then back to his father.

“Gary, we don’t have much time--he needs full medical attention. We need to get him to the infirmary, _now._ ”

Gary’s heart swelled as Quinn spoke. Quinn was always amazing--Gary knew that fact like the back of his hand. But she was also completely emotionally stable, thinking calculatingly and rationally, and Gary felt ridiculously grateful for that quality. Idly, he wondered if it was a learned skill from being in the Infinity Guard, or if she was just headstrong like that. 

Quinn was nothing short of incredible. While Gary barely knew her (if he was being honest with himself), he had a great deal of respect welling up in his chest the more he got to know her. It was no wonder her admired her so much. 

“Right,” He replied, wiping his face quickly. “Okay, let’s do this.” He carefully stood, holding Avocato close to his chest, and turned on his heel for the stairs. Mooncake flew around him, drifting ahead to lead the way. 

They ran down the hallway, and before they knew it, the infirmary doors glided open in front of them. Gary slid to a halt in front of the doorway, making haste in laying Avocato down on the medical table. Once they had settled in, the S.A.M.E.S. took little time in fixing Avocato up with an oxygen mask, reassessing the hastily dressed wounds, and finally stabilizing him. A heartbeat played across a monitor, accompanied by reassuring beeps.

Gary finally felt like he could breathe again.

 

“Thanks,” Little Cato spoke quietly next to him, his tone raspy. “Just...thanks.”

Gary shook his head with a shaky smile. “Don’t mention it,” He pat Little Cato on the shoulder. “Are you gonna stay here, small fry?”

Little Cato nodded without hesitation. It was as though if he were to leave, Avocato would vanish. Gary couldn’t blame him. 

“Okay.” Gary turned on his heel, making eye contact with Quinn in the doorway. He smiled back to Little Cato. “I’ll be back later. Are...are you hungry?”

Gary had no idea how exactly to look after somebody, which was a little embarrassing in it’s own way. Then again, Gary could hardly take care of himself responsibly (at least Avocato said so; Gary disagreed). Despite this, it wasn’t as if he could just leave Little Cato alone--he had to keep his word until Avocato woke up.

“I don’t really have an appetite,” Little Cato replied. “Thanks, though.”

With hesitation, Gary left the room. Quinn followed. 

“Gary,” She began hesitantly. “Listen, I--just. Keep your expectations in check, okay?” 

Gary’s ears burned, halting before staring at the floor. Quinn bumped into him with a small “oop”, stepping back from him with a quick apology.

He couldn’t help but burst out laughing, but in a sad way--the kind of way where whether or not you're emotionally stable is debatable. It was pathetic, really, because he knew that he sounded like he would break at any second. Gary quickly rubbed his eyes, sighing deeply and shakily. 

“Gary?” She pressed.

“I’m okay,” He assured. “There’s just a whole lot of stuff that keeps happening and--you sounded just like him. Avocato, I mean. You sounded like Avocato, for a second.”

A pregnant silence followed, worrying Gary slightly, but he supposed he didn’t seem really together right now. He chanced a glance at Quinn; she was fixing him with a curious stare.

His thoughts drifted back to her point--and suddenly he felt heavy and numb. Quinn shook her head with a small smile, looking away from him. Gary wasn’t really sure what that was about. He didn’t have much time to think on it though, because Quinn crossed her arms, glancing back into the infirmary. 

“Gary, I’m just worried you’re giving Little Cato false hope. Those wounds are bad, a lot worse than I think you realize.”

“I _know_ ,” He sneered. “I know they’re bad. I just couldn’t not do _anything_ ,” He turned to meet Quinn’s gaze, sighing tiredly. “I’d never be able to forgive myself if I didn’t even try. He’s my best friend.”

At that, Quinn’s eyes softened. He felt a little annoyed with how she looked at him as if she’d figured something out that he was oblivious to. “You’re incredibly reckless,” She stated matter-of-factly. “I swear you’re going to get yourself killed one of these days. I won’t be there to stop you if you do.”

“Probably,” He laughed in response. “But also probably not! Gary Goodspeed dies for no one! Also, ow, Quinn.”

“Right,” She sighed, rolling her eyes. “Anyway, just…look after yourself, too. I would prepare for the worst case scenario.” She seemed to have difficulty in expressing her concern for him, but it was there and Gary felt like he’d made a small victory. 

Ultimately, he knew Quinn had a point, and maybe he was deluding himself to think that Avocato would pull through. As if that would stop his high expectations.

 

Gary came back to the infirmary some hours later with a few blankets. Little Cato was fast asleep, head resting in his arms on the edge of the medical table. Gary couldn’t help but smile, pulling up a chair of his own. He couldn’t help but feel a little bad--laying on a medical table wasn’t comfortable, but he couldn’t imagine Avocato _not_ feeling bad when he woke up, anyway. Gary rounded the table, easing a blanket over Little Cato’s shoulders. It came as no surprise that the kid was wiped out.

His gaze drifted back to Avocato.

With extreme reluctance, Gary recognized that Quinn was right. Avocato’s body was really in bad shape; he’d been too caught up in his own adrenaline to realize the wounds could very well be fatal. Carefully and quietly, Gary assessed the damage, but he was the furthest thing from a medical professional. At the very least, everything had now been dressed, and as far as he could tell, done rather nicely. Still, he wondered the full extent of the organ damage Avocato sustained--there was definitely stuff that had been blown, but at the very least his heart and lungs seemed in tact. 

Before he could think anything beyond that, Gary found himself mesmerised by the rise and fall of Avocato’s chest. 

It made him smile. Somehow, in that moment, everything felt like it would be okay. Rounding the table again, Gary swaddled himself up with the second blanket before plopping down onto the stool. Mooncake flew into the room quietly, nestling himself against Gary. Gary smiled, laughing gently as he held Mooncake. 

Gary kept watch as Avocato drew breath for several minutes. He caught himself nodding off a few times, but gave his best effort to stay awake. Exhaustion catching up to him, though. When he couldn’t hold his eyes open, he listened to the heart monitor cut through the quiet of the room. The sound lulled him to sleep. Knowing that Avocato was still here, breathing and heart beating was enough.

 

What Gary could assume to be the next morning, he awoke with a start. His back hurt and he couldn’t figure out why, but he’d been hunched over on himself. Mooncake must have left him at some point. It wasn’t the best position to sleep in. Why had he even slept like that?

The question didn’t go unanswered long as tired eyes fell on an unconscious Avocato. Gary jolted into full focus, the events of the previous day flooding him at every capacity. He was still incredibly exhausted and his whole body ached, but suddenly none of that mattered as he sat, tiredly alert at Avocato’s side. 

He relaxed a little bit when his ears rang with the heart monitors chimes, and his eyes fell back on Avocato’s breathing chest. 

Little Cato was fast asleep just as Gary saw him last, and Gary idly wondered if his body would ache as much as Gary’s did. He was much younger than Gary, which probably meant his body could handle aches a little better, but he was also sleeping in a far more comfortable position than Gary had.

Before they left on their mission, he’d been so determined and eager--he felt so stupid now, looking back to how unprepared they had been, how much he wanted to see Avocato through, how much relief he’d found in identifying his feelings for Avocato, all for it to nearly come crashing down. Things were by no means totally okay, yet, but Avocato wasn’t _dead_. 

Hope swelled in Gary’s chest, taking one of Avocato’s hands in his own with a squeeze. It was warm, just as he’d remembered it being. Gary closed his eyes, bringing the hand to cup his cheek. With a shaky sigh, he leaned into the touch. 

Gary sat like that for maybe a few minutes. Avocato’s gentle heartbeat pulsed through his palm against Gary’s face. In that moment, there was no doubt that Avocato would be fine; Gary was certain of it. Avocato was so close to pulling through; he had to pull through.

“What are you doing?” 

With a hoot, Gary dropped Avocato’s hand. Little Cato fixed him with a quizzical stare, unsure of what to make of the scene before him.

“N-Nothing!”

“That….didn’t look like 'nothing',” He spoke carefully, watching every movement Gary made. “What was that?”

Gary clasped his hands together, absolutely positive that his face was stained red. He chuckled sheepishly, looking anywhere but Little Cato.

How was he supposed to explain to the son of his best friend that was definitely, entirely platonic? (it wasn’t.) So maybe Gary had been a little handsy in a not so platonic way, but it was fine, right? Then again, Gary didn’t even know if Little Cato had another parent. Panic settled in his gut. What if Little Cato had another parent? What if Avocato was _married_? (Gary saw no ring, but that was human culture). What if Avocato was a player?

He almost lost it at the thought. There was no way Avocato would partake in anything short of fidelity...he hoped.

Still, that didn’t change the fact that he didn’t actually know. Gary had never asked Avocato, and Avocato never talked about it. All he knew was that Avocato was loyal, and first and foremost cared for his son. Gary could only assume that same sentiment would go for any family member. He truly hoped Avocato hadn’t kissed him if that circumstance proved to be true.

“You better believe it’s nothing, small fry--I just wanted to--” He bit his lower lip, looking between Avocato and his own hands. “I...wanted to feel him...here?” He confessed meekly, slumping his shoulders in resignation. “Like, you know, his hands were warm and that means he’s alive and whatnot. I’m just tired…”

“I...understand,” Little Cato replied slowly, eyes not leaving Gary. “What’s, ah, um. What’s...my dad to you, anyway...?” 

Gary admittedly hadn’t considered that. It didn’t seem like something they had to figure out right away--Little Cato had been the priority.

He also hadn’t considered how Little Cato must have thought of him, and Quinn, or the entire Galaxy One; how did they come across? They barely knew each other, but still, they had been fighting alongside Avocato. Certainly that had to count for something.

Gary supposed a certain trust had been established between him and Little Cato in fighting alongside one another, albeit briefly, as well. But...other than that, there was little to go off of. He wondered if Little Cato trusted them. 

What Gary just did must have set off some alarms in Little Cato’s brain, though, based on how he was staring as if he was on the cusp of epiphany. Trust or no trust, the scene had been pretty damning-- Little Cato seemed to have figured out there was attraction on Gary’s end.

“Oh! You know, we’re just great chums,” Gary laughed, hoping he didn’t sound nervous (he did). “You know, wonder pals, clasps of friendship. Little best friend things.”

“Huh.” Little Cato nodded.

Gary found relief that Little Cato bought it so quickly. Maybe he was wrong--maybe Little Cato hadn't figured it out. He was young, after all. It would have been a nightmare to explain himself further, not to mention awkward. He’d much rather leave _that_ explanation to Avocato, for whenever he woke up. And...if Avocato never woke up, maybe Gary would explain.

Avocato would definitely wake up, though.

Besides, having a golden tongue wasn’t a talent so much as a learned skill, and Gary honed that skill. It was a good thing he knew how to talk himself out of awkward situations with practiced ease. Little Cato’s expression was sort of unreadable now, but Gary figured it had nothing to do with him.

After a beat, Little Cato spoke again.

“So, uhh, all that,” Little Cato twirled his finger in the general direction of Gary’s hands. “Was totally, _definitely_ a ‘little best friend’ thing.”

And just like that, Gary’s system launched into full lockdown.

“Oh absolutely!” He exclaimed loudly, grinning widely at Little Cato. “We clasped our hands together--clasp of friends, I already mentioned it--and on that day a bond, nay, the universe’s most epic bromance began to unfold!”

“Ohh, bromance, got it,” Little Cato smirked, crossing his arms. Gary didn’t like that. He super hated it, as a matter of fact. “You totally have a thing for my dad, huh.”

“What? Nooo. No!” Gary sounded really believable, he thought. Prayed, really. He really, really hoped so. It was annoying that, for a thirteen year old, Little Cato was so...perceptive. It peeved Gary.

And then Avocato groaned, catching them off guard. Both yelled “dad!” and “Avocato!” in respective unison, leaning in from either side.

...Avocato didn’t wake up. Gary’s face fell, falling back into his seat with a frown. Little Cato followed suit, looking completely defeated. 

“...I guess it’d make sense that he wouldn’t wake up so soon,” Gary started. “I mean, it’s only been…HUE, how long has it been since we got back?”

“APPROXIMATELY SEVENTEEN HOURS, TWENTY-THREE MINUTES, AND...HM. THIRTY-NINE SECONDS.”

“Is he just like, always listening?” Little Cato asked, looking a little unnerved. 

“YES.”

“Yeah, I mean, he monitors everything,” Gary hummed. “Technology be like that.”

Little Cato shrugged in agreement. 

Gary looked back to Avocato, frowning meekly. “I wonder when he’ll wake up…”

Little Cato looked at Gary again, thoughtful. He hesitated before speaking. 

“He will wake up, right?”

Without missing a beat, Gary replied. 

“Duh, of course he will.”

Little Cato smiled widely at that, warmly looking at his father again.

“Yeah...yeah, you’re right,” He leaned his head on the table again. “Thanks, Gary.”

 

A few days passed and Avocato still hadn’t woken up. Gary was admittedly starting to get nervous, but he didn’t say a word about his worries to Little Cato. Gary had definitely given the kid potential false hope.

Gary would leave Avocato’s side every now and then, but Little Cato never left unless he had to go to the bathroom. 

Little Cato hadn’t even noticed he was hungry until Gary came into the room with a box of cold cuts, handing them off. Little Cato ate them in under a minute, much to Gary’s dismay. At least there were always more. Gary kept bringing him cold cuts for the next handful of meals. 

The next time Little Cato ate, Gary figured he should actually, maybe make a balanced meal. 

He looked through the fridge (with a small, “pardon me, Beth” every time), scraping together the ingredients to construct a burrito. Mooncake hovered around him with small “oo’s” of wonder, unsure how to exactly help.

By the time Quinn came into the kitchen, he had all the ingredients out in a huge mess. She sized him up with an amused stare, identifying the ingredients. 

“What...are you making?” 

“Uhh…” He looked at the mess he’d made while effectively making nothing but a mound of ingredients. “Burrito, deconstructed. It’s called _art_ , Quinn.” 

She rolled her eyes, but commented on it no further. He gave up, plating the pile of food in the most appealing fashion he could manage. 

“Little Cato hardly leaves Avocato, I figured I should actually maybe try to make a full meal…” He trailed off. “Does this look okay?”

Quinn laughed.

“Hey! That’s not very nice, Quinn!”

“Sorry,” She chuckled. “Sorry. I mean, so long as it tastes good, I guess,” A beat passed. “Please tell me it tastes good.”

“Uh, I don’t know,” He smiled sheepishly. “I haven’t exactly cooked in four years.” 

“It shows.”

“Hey!”

“Anyway, Gary…listen, we need to close the breach. We can’t just put everything on hold while we wait for Avocato to wake up. There’s not enough _time_.” 

Gary knew she was right, but still, he felt so...at a loss. 

“I know,” He replied seriously. “What are we supposed to do, though?”

Quinn hesitated, shaking her head. “We’ll figure it out. But we have to start. I can’t just stand by and let this happen.” She admitted. 

Gary nodded, picking up the plate. “Yeah...yeah. Anyway, lemme just bring this fancy little number to Little Cato…”

 

Once he’d brought Little Cato his food (which was met with the most baffled expression he’d probably seen on any person), Gary retired to his room for a bit. Mooncake darted in after him, bundling himself up on the mattress and Gary’s blankets. 

Gary wished he could talk to Avocato…

A thought occurred to him as he grabbed the recording unit. He started up a new log, staring at the camera briefly. 

“Hey, Avocato, it’s me,” He scratched the back of his head. “I know I’ve never sent one of these to you before, but...I just wanted to talk to you. Somehow. Anyway...we’re going to start closing up the breach as best we can,” He glanced to the side, frowning. “Little Cato is doing okay, but I’m not sure I’m really equipped to look after him...maybe you picked the wrong person for the job. I think you might have…” 

Gary looked to Mooncake, who was now fast asleep. 

“I…” He gave a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. “I wish you would wake up already. I’m...starting to get worried you _won’t_.” He laughed pathetically. “Just...I’m struggling here, man. Please wake up soon, or...give me some kind of sign you will, like an out of body sort of thing. Any sort of ghostly action would be ideal. Um. Yeah.”

He ended the video, feeling greatly dissatisfied. He sat there for a minute before booting up another video. 

“I--I forgot one other thing, Avocato--” He smiled sheepishly at the camera. “I...I love you. I know I’ve never said that before, but I wanted to say it at least once, while you’re alive--” He felt his throat start to close up, his mind finally coming to terms with the fact Avocato maybe wouldn’t be waking up. “I wish I said it when it mattered. I thought we had more time...I just...I’m worried. I’m worried you won’t wake up and hear this, but...I still hope you will.”

Gary felt awful. He felt stupid to think Avocato would ever wake up, after everything he’d been through. 

Gary wondered if he was braindead. He wondered if he suffocated in space just long enough for it to count. Gary couldn’t handle the thought. His vitals were fine, his heart was beating, he was breathing--why wasn’t it enough?

Gary started sobbing.

 

The next time Gary came to the infirmary, he was steeling himself to tell Little Cato that it was time to let Avocato go. He still wasn’t sure if he could do it, but he figured it was a part of looking after him. That’s what being a caretaker was all about, right? Letting Little Cato go on like this would only make it hurt the longer they let hope manifest. 

“Little Cato,” Gary began, coming to sit on the other side of the medical table again. Little Cato looked up at him with tired, sad eyes--he’d been crying again. Gary wondered if he’d figured it out for himself. He'd referred to him by name, too, which in and of itself was a rarity--if Little Cato hadn't figured it out, that certainly may have tipped him off. “...How are you holding up?” Gary offered instead, feeling guilty. 

“...As...okay as I can be,” Little Cato replied with weak bitterness. “I’m scared.” 

“Yeah, me too,” Gary admitted, smiling weakly. “I...I think he might not wake up.”

Little Cato didn’t reply. Gary didn’t look at him, staring holes into Avocato’s chest. He couldn’t bear to look at the kid after that. It felt almost cruel. 

Little Cato ran out of the room. 

Gary felt awful.

 

Gary couldn’t bear to be around Avocato by himself for very long, and returned to his room. He’d lost track of time--he hadn’t been sleeping at regular times, and HUE didn’t enforce any sort of schedule on him. That actually made everything worse, as silly as it sounded. The lack of structure sucked.

“GARY,” HUE’s voice resounded as he entered the room. “YOUR SENTENCE IS OVER.”

Gary paused, staring up at the ceiling in disbelief. With all the time that got added to his sentence, was his time really up? He looked down at his outfit, in near shock that after all this time, he could finally take the suit off. He wondered idly how it would feel to wear his civilian clothes again, and if they would feel clean and comfortable, comparatively. He hoped so.

“That--that means I can have a cookie, right?” He asked with a tired smile. 

“YES, GARY.”

“Yes!!” Gary yelled, thrusting his arms into the air in victory. “And I can wear my old clothes again?”

“YES.”

“YES!” He exclaimed again, feeling so happy, and he nearly tore his uniform off in sheer delight. “And I’m free to go wherever I want?”

“YES, IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT, GARY.”

He was about entirely naked now, standing in the middle of his room. His happiness and excitement didn’t last very long as his mind drifted back to his Avocato. With a weak frown, he hesitated as he reached for his clothes.

Gary didn’t have much time to wallow in his misery when Nightfall suddenly appeared next to him. He yelped, covering himself up as best he could manage. Nightfall snorted with a smirk plastered on her face. He felt totally exposed, which, to be fair, was the state he was in, being naked and all. 

“You--what are you doing here?” He stepped back, blindly reaching for his blanket. Instead, he miscalculated the distance, falling back onto the bed. Nightfall wasted no time in pinning him down, hovering over him. Gary felt his whole body nearly burst into flames. This was too sudden, and too _weird_ , and despite how much he squirmed, her grip didn't falter. “I-I-I! Wow! This, okay, good lord, you are strong,” He bit his lower lip, looking away from her. “You know what, I’ve gotta say, I’m more of a wine and dine kind of lad, I mean, even a cracker and some water would go a long way with me! ‘Cause I mean, can we please, uh, get to the subject--the subject matter here is that there’s an Avocato--” He cut himself off, snapping his mouth shut. 

Nightfall blinked, still holding his arms above his head. 

”That far back, huh?” She hummed, a device beeping over his head, and Gary suddenly realized she was no longer holding his arms in place. “Alright, I’ve got what I need.”

Energy cuffs. Okay, he was suddenly cuffed to his bed for God knows why with energy cuffs. Gary struggled and squirmed, but to no avail.

 

It turned out Nightfall was trying to kill Mooncake. Quinn explained to him that Nightfall claimed that if he were to leave to Galaxy One on his own, the Lord Commander would find him, and Mooncake would lay waste to the universe, opening Final Space. 

Gary had admittedly thought about going off on his own, at least for a bit--but he didn’t think he would until they pulled the plug on Avocato. He shivered at the thought, shaking his head quickly. He didn’t want to think about it. 

They had to return to the ship to stop Little Cato from using Nightfall’s ship. Gary wasn’t sure why he felt the need to go back into time until he pulled Little Cato’s time shifting form from the opening. 

“It’s my fault,” Little Cato cried. “He died because of me.”

Gary looked away, pulling him and KVN (who for some reason was in there as well--god, he hated KVN), out from the ship just before it blinked out of existence. It was jarring to hear and the first time it really, truly hit Gary that Avocato was as good as dead. He felt heavy, and numb, and horrible.

At least Quinn opened up a little bit after that. Gary decided he would never really leave--Avocato left Little Cato to him, after all, and really, he had nowhere else to go.

Nightfall stuck around too--not that she had much of a choice-- albeit everybody was a little weary around her. Even if she did promise to not harm Mooncake. Little Cato stayed near Gary, for the most part, never really saying much. He avoided going to the infirmary though. Gary wasn’t really sure how he could bring himself to go, either, but the longer he put it off, the worse it would be. 

It was after his fourth attempt he finally managed to go.

Gary entered the infirmary, taking his seat at Avocato’s side. It was really hard to sit there, watching the rise and fall of Avocato’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, knowing it all amounted to nothing. Gary bit back a choked sob, reaching for Avocato’s hand, squeezing it tightly. It was still warm, and still felt strong and firm as it always had. 

None of this was fair. 

He heard the chair on the other side of the table creak, and looked up through tears to see Little Cato staring back with watery eyes. Gary wiped his face with his free hand, stuttering out a quick apology. 

“Why are you sorry?” Little Cato shakily mumbled. “You did everything you could…”

Little Cato rubbed his eyes, smiling pathetically. “I just...I wanted him to pull through, so badly.”

“Me, too, kiddo.” Gary straightened up, keeping his hold on Avocato’s hand. They sat in silence for a bit, as if it was all the time they had left--which...it was. Little Cato was so, so strong, Gary thought, being so young and handling everything far better than Gary thought he would. Gary supposed he understood, though, considering he was about the same age when his own father died. He didn't remember handling it very well at all. His thoughts wandered back to the last time they sat together like this just a few days ago--full of hope and eagerness for an awakening that was never coming.

“...You know,” Gary finally began, catching Little Cato’s attention. “I guess I did sort of, maybe have a, a thing for him.”

Little Cato smiled, looking back down to his father. 

“I know,” He spoke carefully, and Gary sighed. “...I think my dad would have liked you, too.”

Gary’s heart swelled at that, and it was bittersweet. Bittersweet, because Avocato _did_ feel the same as Gary, and they only had so little time together before it was over.

All this time, Gary supposed he knew he would be losing Avocato--he just didn’t want to think about it, and he wanted so badly to believe Avocato would pull through. None of that meant this was okay, nor was Gary ready for it. If nothing else, Gary could empathize with how Little Cato must have felt. 

Losing parents was never easy.

...Maybe he was just unlucky. The people Gary loved most always met with misfortune. It was easy to blame himself.

The heart monitor beeped a little faster than before. Gary glanced at it half-heartedly, blinking slowly.

Avocato shifted with a groan.

Gary’s heart nearly stopped. Little Cato stared with the same level of shock, and both of them waited with bated breath for any other sign that there was still hope. Anything.

“Dad,” Little Cato began shakily, leaning in anxiously. “Come _on_.”

Gary licked his lower lip, heart sinking as nothing happened. 

“Avocato, if you don’t wake up, I swear I’ll…” Gary trailed off, not really sure where he was going. A threat, maybe. He just wanted Avocato to open his eyes.

“Dad…” Little Cato echoed, voice breaking. Gary squeezed Avocato’s hand, resulting in a long, tired groan.

“Ugh,” Avocato opened his eyes, squinting against the white light of the room. “Ow, what the hell…” He slurred, glancing towards Gary. Gary, who went into a state of shock.

Avocato woke up. He actually, really, truly woke up.

“Gary…” He began, with a tired smile. “My whole body hurts like...” His attention turned towards Little Cato as he trailed off. His eyes snapped open wide as he attempted to sit up, resulting in a long hiss as he clutched his chest. Both Gary and Little Cato tried to get him to lie back down, but he stayed sitting up. Avocato seemingly caught up to speed fairly quick, eyes dropping to his chest. With a half-hearted tug, he held the tubes of his oxygen mask and coughed slightly. “What’s all this?” He squinted thoughtfully, looking between the two of them. He hesitated, breathing in deeply before speaking again. “I’m...alive?” 

“Well, obviously--”

“Thanks to Gary,” Little Cato interrupted excitedly, tears filling his eyes again. He punched Avocato’s shoulder lightly, laughing airily. “Do me a favor--don’t do that again.” 

It warmed Gary’s heart to see the father son duo finally happy and together after all this time. Little Cato looked like he wanted nothing more than to hug Avocato. It was possible, that is--Avocato’s wounds were by no means fully healed.

“Ow! Hey, come on...” Avocato almost whined, rubbing his arm. His voice sounded horrible, and it sort of hurt Gary to hear him talk like that. “But wait...Gary?” Avocato turned to him, frowning. “...What did you...do?” 

Gary grinned widely, puffing out his chest heroically. “Oh, you know,” He chuckled. “It was totally super cool,” He blinked, frowning to Avocato. “The, uh, me being a hero, not the whole, you getting blown open by a mine thing.” Gary winced at his own words.

Avocato looked down at himself with a frown. He exhaled long and slow into the oxygen mask, grimacing at the sensation. Gary squeezed Avocato’s hand again, letting relief and exhaustion wash over him.

Avocato looked down at their hands before meeting Gary’s gaze with a soft smile. 

“You’re an idiot,” He paused. “You could have died.”

“You would have if I didn’t do something,” Gary frowned, squeezing Avocato’s hand. “I couldn’t-- _we_ couldn’t lose you,” He finished carefully, very, _very_ aware of Little Cato watching them. “...Your boy most of all.” He nodded toward Little Cato.

Avocato turned to his son with a frown. “Are you ok?” He asked, giving him a once over.

Little Cato looked like a mess, all things considered; his eyes were swollen from all the crying he’d done and he was still covered in dirt and grime from their escape. In hindsight, it was pretty awful that Little Cato hadn’t bathed in the past week. Gary could only imagine what was going through Avocato’s head, but he squeezed Gary’s hand gently which felt really nice. Avocato was here, alive, and awake. Gary felt stupidly giddy between that fact and his exhaustion.

After a moment of silence passed, Gary cleared his throat to speak again.

“I mean, there’s no way we were getting small fry back just for you to go off and _die_ ,” Gary began. “And…” He trailed off, thinking of his own father. ‘Little Cato shouldn’t have to know the pain of losing you’ is what he _wanted_ to say, but he couldn’t. Even so, he never, ever wanted somebody else to go through the same suffering he had. If Gary could help it, he would never let it happen. He wasn’t ever really going to be ready to talk about what happened to his father, not because he didn’t want to (which really, he didn’t want to), but because he wasn’t sure he could _handle_ talking about it.

Knowing that he kept Little Cato from experiencing the same trauma made him feel an odd mix of relief and maybe a tiny bit envy, but all the same, Avocato was alive, Little Cato was happy--and so was he.

Gary cleared his throat as he felt it try to close up, forcing a smile to the two Cato’s. 

“You’re alive. If you ask me, that’s what matters the most, right now.”

Avocato looked back to Gary, searching his face for something. What, Gary wasn’t sure. Maybe he had food stuck to his face. Gary felt self-conscious, so he wiped his face with his free hand, just to be safe. Hopefully that did something. 

Avocato chuckled. Maybe not the effect Gary was looking for, but he'd take it. Little Cato cocked his head at Gary, crossing his arms before speaking.

“He’s right dad. I’m just happy you’re here.” Standing up, he stretched, smiling to his father. Avocato didn’t immediately move his gaze away from Gary. Gary nervously opened his mouth to speak before closing it again. Little Cato continued, “ _Alive._ You wouldn’t wake up for like...days.”

“Days?” Avocato asked in disbelief. “How many?”

“Uhh,” Gary began, smiling apologetically. “Like, six? Maybe seven? I-I mean, if we're being perfectly and completely honest, I’ve lost track.”

Little Cato nodded in confirmation before speaking again. 

“We were starting to think you’d never wake up…”

Avocato looked down at himself again, taking in just how much damage he went through.

“...I’m...happy to be here, too. As alive as I can be.”

Avocato finally looked away from Gary and to his son, who was now giving him a knowing, lopsided smirk. That seemed to catch Avocato off guard, because he looked around in confusion before trying to parse the expression. Little Cato stood suddenly, catching Gary by surprise, and started walking for the door. Avocato furrowed his brow.

“Aaanyway, I’m gonna go get something to eat; I’m starving. I’ll be back,” The doors slid open. Little Cato glanced over his shoulder briefly, smiling at the two of them before exiting. “Don’t have _too much_ fun.” Avocato was about to protest when the doors shut behind him.

The way Avocato’s ears stood on end was cute, but Gary would never say it. Well, maybe he would, but not right now. It was silent for a bit as Avocato continued to stare at the exit. Gary popped his lips in the silence, staring at their hands. Anywhere but Avocato, really. He wasn't sure what to say now that Little Cato left.

“Man,” Avocato began, laying back down with a wince. Gary adjusted the table upright so he wouldn't have to strain. “You shouldn’t have come after me.”

“That’s one way to say thank you,” Gary frowned. “Another, better way, would be to actually say, uh, thanks?”

“Sorry,” Avocato smiled at him. “It was a stupid thing for you to do, is all. I don’t think I’ve ever been in this much pain in my life. Don’t get me wrong--I’m happy to be alive, just...”

“I’m stupid? I don’t think you’re in any position to call my way past cool heroic actions stupid,” Gary huffed. “And I’m still not hearing a thank you.”

Avocato grinned before coughing a few times. 

“Right. Thanks, Gare.”

Gary felt his cheeks heat up at the nickname, so he beamed back at Avocato cheekily.

“I mean, it was no big deal--”

"You're being humble, now?"

They laughed, holding hands in silence. Gary ran his thumb over Avocato’s knuckles with a small smile. There wasn’t an immediate need to keep talking--Gary was still playing catch up with the fact that Avocato was actually awake, and Avocato was probably doing the same thing, anyway.

Avocato suddenly retracted his hand from Gary's, earning a small protest until he took off the oxygen mask.

“Hey, what are you doing,” Gary began, reaching for the mask. “You’ll, like, totally die if you don’t breathe, and we don’t need anymore close calls...”

“I’m fine,” Avocato rasped, stopping Gary’s hand in it’s tracks. Gently and slowly, he laced their fingers together. Gary was startled by the sudden gesture and stared at their interlocked fingers. Avocato’s free hand then tugged Gary down from the nape of his neck.

“What’s..” Gary started, trailing off as he was pulled into a soft kiss. 

They parted, and Gary licked his lips slowly.

“...That’s super gross, your mouth tastes like blood and badness,” Gary kissed Avocato again despite himself. “Super...mega gross…”

They kissed again and again until Avocato gave a low hum, biting Gary’s lower lip. Gary definitely didn’t gasp or unintentionally whine, but he was surprised. And maybe he did whine, just a little bit. Avocato squeezed Gary’s hand, kissing him one last time with a sigh. He wore a lopsided grin, resting resting their foreheads together.

“...Gross, huh? I dunno, you seem pretty into it.”

Gary let out a choked laugh, and before he knew what happened next, he was crying. Slowly catching on, Avocato pulled away with mild concern. Gary felt so overwhelmed.

“Whoa, hey, hey...you good?”

“Sorry,” Gary began, moving his forehead against the crook of Avocato’s neck. Avocato brought a hand to rest on Gary’s shoulder, tracing soft circles. “Really, I don’t know why I can’t control the real, raw--”

“Hey, shh, man, it’s okay.”

“...I know,” Gary replied quickly, attempting to stop crying and failing. “Just--for a second there, I really thought you would die.” There it was, from Gary and nobody else, nowhere but his own heart, and Gary just wanted to cry and keep crying. That probably wasn’t the real, raw Gary he wanted to tap into, but he couldn’t help it.

Avocato breathed in deeply, easing Gary off his shoulder. He cupped his face with one hand, wiping away his tears with the other. Gary brought his own hand to rest on Avocato’s, mustering up his best cheeky smile. He must have looked foolish, because he was met with an amused snort.

“You’re a mess,” Avocato teased. “C’mon Gary.”

Leaning into Avocato’s palm, Gary laughed through his nose.

“It’s been a long week. Also, I always look good and way cool.” He teased. Avocato rolled his eyes in response, rubbing his thumb over Gary’s cheek.

"The coolest."

Avocato’s hands were probably Gary’s favorite, out of all the other hands in the universe. They were strong and hardened, yet soft, stable, and comforting. The kind of hands that kept you safe. To be fair, it was hard to top, because most people (that Gary knew, at least) didn’t have warm, soft, furry hands. Not that Gary was into that.

The kicker was that he was never really used to getting physical affection ever. Even before his five year sentence, Gary didn’t really hang out with many people, let alone people who really wanted to touch him. It was something he’d stopped thinking about entirely, until now.

Mooncake was the real pioneer in changing that for Gary. The face hugs were comforting, in their own way, and Mooncake was incredibly soft and squishy. It was incredibly satisfying.

That aside, Gary always got a little handsy around Avocato, intentionally or otherwise. He supposed that had something to do without seeing other sentient lifeforms in years--there was a sort of gravity that time and time again pulled him in. Needless to say, this territory was new to him.

Gary sighed, feeling relaxed. Drained, but relaxed.

This was the first real down time they had together, as...whatever they were now. A couple, maybe. Gary didn’t care to label it--what they were didn’t matter so long as they were both alive, here, together.

Gary loved Avocato. Gary was _in_ love with Avocato.

It was probably one of his favorite all-time feelings, being in love, albeit a new one. More than anything, he was glad it wasn’t lost for good. Gary considered telling Avocato outright, just to let him know how he felt in words. It was a simple statement, but Gary had a hard time being serious with matters of the heart.

“It totally would have sucked if you died,” Gary settled on instead. “That freaking...bomb…”

“It was a cheap shot,” Avocato added, frowning deeply. “I don’t know how Lord Commander did it. We let our guard down too soon, obviously.”

“Yeah…yeah.”

Gary felt a little guilty at that. Why hadn’t he noticed it? He was behind Little Cato the whole time, he should have. But instead, Gary was too busy riding off the high of victory before they’d even won.

He sighed, closing his eyes. Maybe he needed to think a little more instead of relying on his feelings alone. He wasn’t about to throw himself a pity party over their current state, but as captain (self-proclaimed or not), Gary felt he should be more responsible. If he had been, then maybe none of this scare would have happened. He knew for future reference, he supposed.

Avocato kissed him again, making Gary’s eyes flutter back open. 

“Don’t think to hard, baby.”

“I never do,” Gary gloated, reaching for the oxygen mask. “You should, uh, put this back on now, Avocato.” 

With a grimace and reluctance, Avocato nodded, inhaling deeply. Gary fastened the mask back on, mindful of where his hands touched. Once secure, he slid his hand back into Avocato’s.

“Are you hungry? Do you need anything? I could go get cards,” He offered. “Or...anything else.”

“I can’t really imagine eating normally right now, plus I have this,” Avocato confessed, holding up his arm hooked up to an IV drip. “But, ah, cards could be fun.”

“Yeah?” Gary sat up, releasing Avocato’s hand. “I’ll go get them, then!”

Whipping around, Gary made for the door, stumbling over his chair briefly. He stopped as the door opened, looking back hesitantly. 

“You aren’t going to die if I leave for a hot minute, right?”

“What? No, Gary. I mean, I don’t plan on it.”

“Okay. Cool.” Gary was about to leave when Avocato spoke again. 

“Gary--”

Gary turned his attention back to Avocato, cocking his head inquisitively. 

“Yeah? What’s up?”

Avocato smiled, looking away from Gary sheepishly. 

“I love you, man.”

Gary drew his mouth into a tight line. He felt like he should yell, or thrust his arms up in the air victoriously, or maybe just lay down and die. But he didn’t, instead settling on a cheeky grin.

“Whooa that’s super cool,” Gary replied in earnest. Avocato looked a little thrown off and possibly even a little dissatisfied by his reply. “Hey, I uh--you know,” 

Gary turned away, pushing his hair out of his face before looking back to Avocato. He was met with a confused expression which quickly slid into amused realization as Gary put on his ‘real, raw Gary’ act.

“I love you too, and more. My heart lies in your bones...and all that deep, romantic jazz.” He spoke low and slow, earning a hard snicker from Avocato. With that, he snapped out of the persona. “I’m gonna get my deck! Be right back, I'll zip by like zoom! Really just, super fast!”

"No rush,"Avocato was smiling from ear-to-ear, staring at the ceiling. "I've got time." 

Gary smiled. For now, that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't intend for this to turn out happy but! Oops! It's happy. Kind of! 
> 
> I really like mixing canon scenes with my own twist, so I hope those fit in organically. Thanks for joining me on this rollercoaster. B) Hopefully the pacing is decent, too! Let me know if anything is wonky. Thanks for reading!!


End file.
